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Tuesday, June 11, 2013

Sparrows

Sparrows
by Dan Dillard 2013

I’d heard sparrows were messengers for death. Tiny little banshees that knock at your window when your time—or someone's close to you—was up. It wasn’t until a few days ago when the little bugger started tapping on the window that I felt the sting of loss. I’m not sure why such a cute, seemingly harmless creature should build dread in the pit of my stomach, yet there it grew like a knot in a shoelace desperately needing to be untied. Poe’s raven in disguise.
The dog took leaps at the window, occasionally ducking through his flap-in-the-wall dog door to run the creature off. Seconds later, the dog would proudly strut into the house again and lie down. A few seconds after that would come the knocking and scraping of the brown bird, anxious to pass through the glass. When I would come downstairs in the morning, he was there at the back window. Anywhere I stood or sat in the open concept home, I could hear him if not see him beating against the window.
I closed the blinds.
An internet search yielded little in the way of results. One page said male birds would have territorial bouts with their reflections, believing them to be other males. One said to hang something shiny in front of the window of choice, or to cover it with white paper for a few days until the bird found something else to occupy its fragile time. I began to worry for the little thing.
I opened the blinds again.
What if it injured its beak, or its foot, or even broke its neck? Yet, whenever I opened the door, it flew away. Not far, just off to a safe distance where it might continue to watch the window. It didn’t follow me to other windows. And when I settled back inside the house, he would return to his tapping and flapping.
Two days later, it was still there, still adamant. I’d taken to providing food and water so it wouldn’t starve, as it was so adamant in its task that the bird hadn’t left my back yard. I sat at my dining table, adjacent to that window, and began to watch it as intently as it watched me. It was then I noticed the air in my home was stale, damp even. It wasn’t humid outside, and I was running the air conditioning. I swapped out the filter and went back to watching the bird.
Yesterday, I called in sick to work. I didn’t feel sick, but my concern for the animal had exceeded my need for a bank of paid leave. I checked my pulse and took my temperature just in case. Everything seemed in order. I washed and brushed my teeth in the kitchen sink so as not to stray too far from my little friend.
If he was a friend.
He flapped and clawed at the glass again. I moved my vigil to the floor and sat in front of the window, eye-to-eye with the bird. I tried to stare him down, but he was too fast, too frantic. It gave me an uneasy feeling—a sick feeling like I might have to vomit. Then the bird simply hovered, beating its wings like mad, but not bumping the glass. It was just hovering, and looking—not at me, but beyond me.
When I turned, there was something behind me. It was between me and my front door, only ten feet away. It was like smoke, only not rising, but swirling. Sunlight from the front windows passed through it in dusty beams and in its center, a small mass of black hung. That mass almost glowed it was so dark and the smoke that surrounded it seemed to encapsulate the mass and emanate from it.
I knew then I was looking at death.
My sparrow friend squawked and redoubled his efforts to get into the house. The glass was too thick for a bird that weight only ounces. What could it do against the reaper anyway? What could I do for that matter?
The black mass swirled and tendrils of its smoke reached out, darkening my view. I felt their ice-cold hairs touching my arms and legs. My heart pounded and I began to think of all the things I had left to do. All my plans. Boxes going unchecked in my head. The only defense I knew was to pray, then it hit me.
As the smoke poured into my nose and wrapped around my neck, I reached up to the latch on the window and flipped it, then lifted it by its small brass handle. The bird flew in, a tiny warrior. I had no idea why the sparrow was on my side, or if he was on my side. His presence in the house, flapping and flying, circling the smoky visage of death, seemed to distract my unwanted visitor.
Then the sparrow dove, aimed itself arrow-straight and pierced through the cloud of evil. When it emerged on the other side, the black mass in the center was gone, and the nebulous thing around it dissipated. The bird landed on my couch, opposite the television and as I watched, it lifted its head and gobbled the slimy thing as if it was an earthworm pulled from the soil. Then, it ruffled its wings and left out the same window.
I don’t know why the sparrow chose me, or if it chose me, but I was given more time. For that I am thankful, and from now on, I will always feed the birds.

END

GIVING UP THE GHOST is here!

Friday, June 7, 2013

Interview With a Bat-Dude.


So I took a few moments this week to interview a pretty cool dude. He’s a surfer, a vegan, quite well-traveled, and oddly enough, a vampire. Everyone welcome Dracula Bob.

Me:  Bob, is it?
Dracula Bob:  Hey dude. Dracula Bob. Bob. Some dudes call me D-Bob now. I kinda dig that.
Me:  Okay… D-Bob then.
DB:  ………
Me:  So I guess I’ll start. Good to have you here. Thanks for meeting me after hours.
DB:  Huh?
Me:  I said it was good to have you here. It’s nice to meet you, Bob-er-D-Bob
DB:  Nice to be here, man. I was just fuckin’ with ya about the D-Bob thing. Bob’s fine.
Me:  Oh.
DB:  Yeah. Ha ha.
Me:  So I read your story, "Unlucky in Death."  Pretty funny stuff.
DB:  I don’t read a lot, man. But there’s nothing funny about death.
Me:  You’re not aware of the short story about you and David?
DB:  David? The bat-dude who’s afraid of blood?
Me:  Yeah.
DB:  Ha. Yeah, what a pussy. Total pussy, that guy.  I found a fix for him though.
Me:  Right, the weed thing.
DB:  More than that. We have a new story coming, with all the info. Some folks were bitching about the story being short. Like, it’s a short story, ya know. But whatever, dude.
Me:  Really? A new story?
DB:  Well, it like, expands on the old one. Some fill-in, some more jokes, more weed.  I develop the “Unweed” (gestures with his hands as if holding a holy relic). Unweed is the shit.
Me:  Unweed?
DB:  Totally.
(Bob stares at me for a long time)
Me:  And? Can you tell us more?
DB:  Us? Like, it’s just me and you, dude.
Me:  Can you tell me more?
DB:  About what?
Me:  So you have this new expanded story…wait, I thought you said you didn’t read.
DB:  I was fuckin’ with you again, man. You’re not too bright, are you?
Me:  Okay, new subject. How’d you get here?
DB:  Oh, like, I walked. 
Me:  I mean to the Midwest. You’re from the coast, right?
DB:  Totally. Ocean all the way, bro.
Me:  And how did you end up in the Midwest?
DB:  I took a bus. What’s with all the questions?
Me:  It’s an interview. That’s how it works.
DB:  Boring interview.  You got any weed?
Me:  Um, no.
DB:  You want some?
Me:  Bob, can you focus for a minute?
DB:   No. I’m high as hell right now.  What were you saying?
Me:  Look, You’ve got a lot of fans, man. How can they get in touch with you?
DB:  No idea.
Me:  Don’t you have a Twitter account?
DB:  A what?
Me:   Folks, you can reach him @DraculaBob on Twitter.
DB:  You’re startin’ to creep me out, dude.
Me:  Give us your perspective on being a vampire. Can you do that?
DB:  Us? Who else is here.
Me:  Bob, seriously.
DB:  Right, the interview thing.  Bein’ a bat-dude is righteous. I surf the streets now, though. Thinkin’ about getting me a skateboard. Maybe a bicycle.
Me:  You miss surfing?
DB:  Totally.
Me:  So why don’t you go back to the coast?
DB:  Tough to surf at night, dude.  I mean, it can be done, but… (Trails off as he watches a moth flapping against the lampshade)
Me:  What would you tell other would-be vampires?
DB:  Stay in school, man. If that doesn’t work out, come see ol’ Bob. I’ll give you the juice and you can be part of my bat posse. I’m up to about 60 now. Even got a couple grand-bats.
Me:  Sure you can’t tell me anything else about the new story?
DB:  What story?  You’re weird as hell, dude.
Me:  ………

And that’s it for now.  Look for more info later when Dracula Bob and friends appear in “Unlucky in Death: ReVAMPed”

More from me here.

Friday, May 31, 2013

GIVING UP THE GHOST IS HERE!

Giving Up The Ghost by Dan Dillard

Who has two thumbs and a new book out? Well, lots of people, but I'm talkin' about me.

Ladies and gentlemen, I'd like to introduce you to Gerry Sheffield. When he isn't pissing people off and being a lecherous pervert, he's busy using, drinking, whoring and generally screwing up. This would all be fine, except he's a grown-ass man that is hemorrhaging  his sweet, elderly parents bank account like a slit carotid.

To make a long story short, Bill and Margo Sheffield have had enough of their loser son's shenanigans (love that word!) and after bailing him out of jail, trouble, debt, std's and probably a few bouts of rehab, they've changed tactics. Tough love? There's an app for that, even if it kills them.

Well, in fact, it does. After some serious discussion and a look at their resources, they decide haunting him could be the best way to scare him straight, and that's when things get weird.



Part paranormal horror, part dime-store sleaze, part dark comedy, Giving Up The Ghost is 305 pages of fun and the sixth book from me. It was my NaNoWriMo piece from 2012 and poured out in a mere eleven days. Editing took quite a bit longer than that and the title changed from "The Spirit Of Parenting" to "Giving Up The Ghost" last minute, but either way, here she blows.

So the official launch is tomorrow, June 1st 2013, but there won't be any fanfare, no fireworks, no television commercials, just a new book I hope you'll all read, tell your friends about and help me sell some writing!

Kick back, grab a good stiff drink, and sink into the world of Gerry Sheffield, a man you will hate, but whose parents you will absolutely love as much as they love each other.

I have to give a quick shout to the cover art by Stefano Cardoselli... He has a slick-sick style all his own...I only wish this was a graphic novel.

The acknowledgements are long on this one, so make sure you read those as well :)

Get it HERE! Then go tell all your friends, bloggers, reviewers and strangers. (Scream it at the strangers, it's much creepier that way.)

Friday, May 24, 2013

The Choice

The Choice by Dan Dillard

I stared into the abyss and saw its teeth, I could not miss.
There was no way I could’ve failed, for if I’d jumped, I’d been impaled.

The wicked lord of all ‘twas dark, looked back at me and smiled—remarked,
“Give in to me, give unto me, you make a deal, you make a pact.
I will fulfill, I will conceal, but in the end, I will come back.
Knee deep in wealth. Without a care. In perfect health, talent to spare.
Then, we’ll be one, your soul and I. It’s all it costs, your soul to buy,
whatever goal your heart desires, ignore the screams, ignore the fires.”

I gave it thought, my faith did quake, a worthy case the snake did make.
There was a peace in his deep voice, I had a choice, I had a choice.
I stared into the flaming seas of endless possibilities.

And now this secret, I have kept, a hell inside, I’ve rarely slept.
I must confess, that day, I leapt.

Wednesday, May 8, 2013

Tech Support

Tech Support
by Dan Dillard, 2013

It wasn’t until the third ring that the line clicked and a voice answered. It was not a human voice—not a live human voice—on the end of the line, but a series of questions. I kept pressing zero trying to get an operator.  Finally, after more than fifteen minutes of button pushing, the crappy musical stylings of a disgruntled group of studio musicians and three cigarettes, the line went silent.
I was about to throw the phone through the front glass of my saltwater aquarium, likely impaling the larger of my three fish, a Picasso Trigger named Pablo, and ruining my phone when a woman answered.
“Hello? How may I assist you today?”
Her voice was as smooth as the ocean breeze in North Carolina in June. There was a slight drawl, very sexy, and it had a tone that was both clear and melodic. I shifted from one ear to the other and adjusted the mouthpiece of the ancient thing so I couldn’t hear my breaths coming from my nose. My cigarette had burned to the filter and I flicked it out the open screen door into the back yard.
“Uh, hi. I wasn’t expecting anyone to actually pick up.”
“I assure you, honey, I’m here to help. What can I do for you?” she said.
I hesitated, looking around at the mess of broken furniture and drops of blood on the newly installed flooring. There was a bloody handprint on the front door. It wrapped around the silver knob in a noble attempt, but three trailing finger smudges leading to the floor said, ‘failure’.
“Sir? Are ya there?”
It sounded more like they-ah. My hands shook, and I pulled the softpack out of my front pocket and tapped a fourth smoke into my mouth.
“I’m here.”
“One last time, shug. I’ve got folks waiting. These lights are blinkin’ like mad on this phone.”
I hated being hurried, but I did need help. I lit the cigarette and sat down, wiping some of the remaining red stuff onto my shirt.
“I need help.”
“Well, I assumed. What with?” she asked.
“I…I bit off a bit more than I can chew, I think. One almost got away,” I said.
“Oh my,” she replied.
“Yeah. Neither of them is dead yet. One’s tied up in the master bedroom upstairs. The other is passed out. I dragged her into the bathtub.”
“Okay, so take things one at a time, hon.”
“That’s just it. I can’t do my usual. It takes too long, and one will wake while I’m…finishing the other.”
“Well now, we can’t always have our cake and eat it too, can we?”
“I thought I could.”
“Greedy boy. What’s your M.O.?” she asked.
I’d never thought about it as an M. O. before. It had just been a thing. I beat some—blunt force trauma is always fun. I rape others. One, I strangled, but I always use a knife when I’m finishing the work. I like finishing the best. It’s a slow process, but I’ve developed a real flair for it, like an art.
The first seven bled out and then I figured out some tricks to making it last and the last ten…or maybe it’s fifteen…they have gotten better with each new pig. I’ve always called them pigs. That’s what they are really. Meat you can pork. That’s hunter humor. I’m a hunter.
“Sir?”
I shook my head, remembering I was actually on the phone.
“Right. My M.O. I hunt them, bring them back here, then sometimes I beat them,” I started.
“Ooh, nice,” she said, interrupting.
“Yes. Then usually I carve them up in the tub.”
“Do you drink the blood?”
“Never thought of it, I said.”
“Well, it’s fulfilling. You might consider trying that.”
Drinking blood seemed like something from the movies. Of course, I got my start watching movies. One day I just said, “I can do that.” And do that I did.
“Anyway,” I continued, “I guess I got a little overwhelmed this time. A little carried away and then overwhelmed with them. Sisters, I guess. They look alike.”
“Kids?”
“Nah, mid twenties if I had to guess. One’s pretty hot, the other, kinda homely.”
“Ahh, too bad. Kill her first.”
“Totally,” I said.
“Which one is in the tub?”
“Homely.”
“Excellent,” the southern voice said. “Can you see her now?”
“No, they’re both upstairs.”
“Well can you get to them with the phone?”
“Yes.”
“Go to the bathroom and describe her to me, tell me what stage you’re on.”
I walked up the steps and peeked first into the bedroom where the more attractive of the two was tied to a chair. She was nude, passed out and blood from her mouth had dripped onto her chest and down her belly. It smelled of urine. She must’ve pissed herself. Then, I looked in the bathtub.
“She’s unconscious.”
“Okay. What would you normally do in this case?”
“Wake her.”
“Okay. So wake her?” she said.
“What if she screams and wakes her sister?”
“Is her sister unconscious as well?”
“Yes, and she’s bound and gagged,” I said.
“So what’s the problem?”
What was the problem? It all seemed so easy when my southern belle said it. The smoke from my cigarette burned in my eye and when I checked the mirror, it was burned to the filter again. I tapped it into the sink and pulled my knife from its sheath.
“Set the phone down, love. Do your thing. I’ll wait until you’ve finished with homely and moved on to sexy. Mind if I put you on hold while you work? I’ll check back.”
I didn’t mind. I was getting my wits about me again. Seemed like myself again. Felt the rage again. Plunged the knife into her neck. She woke and tried to scream, grasping at the handle, and my hands. Blood poured from the wound.
“Hon? You did something wrong, didn’t you? I’ll stay on the line,” the voice on the phone said.
“I did.”
I stood up and watched the girl struggling in the bath tub, trying to stand, trying to pull the knife from her neck. The blade must’ve made contact with her vertebrae because it wasn’t coming free. I don’t know how I missed her spinal cord. She started to choke, then slipped in the red-black puddle and fell. Her face smashed into the spigot, tearing a jiggling flap of skin loose and depositing several teeth onto the bathroom floor.
“What’s happening? It’s quite noisy?” the operator said.
“She’s struggling,” I said, watching the carnage.
“Is that what you enjoy? The struggle?”
“I do.”
“Do you always watch?” she asked.
“Yes. Sometimes I masturbate. Fresh blood makes good lubricant.”
“It does, doesn’t it? Until it gets sticky.”
“What now?” I asked, back to feeling out of sorts.
“Do you want to kill her now?”
“I do.”
I did, but it was almost too late. Homely was laying face-down in the tub, trying to push back up, to make an escape, but finding herself too weak.  I reached around her head and pulled the knife loose. Blood pulsed from the now jagged wound.  I cupped my hand under it and gathered some, then I sipped it from my palm. It was warm, metallic, exhilarating.
“Mmmm,” I head through the phone. “Tastes good doesn’t it, shug?”
It did.
“Yes.”
“Is she gone?”
“Yes. Now she is.”
“Good. So what are your plans for her sister…the pretty one?”
I wiped the knife blade on the thigh of my jeans and turned around, watching the bound girl through the doorway between the bathroom and the bedroom. Her head rocked one way, then the other. She was coming back around.
“Plans,” I said. Not a question, nor a statement…just a word.
I stood and watched the naked girl, tied to a chair next to my bed, as she awoke. I watched as she realized again the horror of her situation. I wondered if she was having a pleasant dream. Perhaps a dream where she wasn’t kidnapped, stripped bare, beaten and tied to a chair. Then I wondered what she would think of the bloody mess behind me. When she screamed through her gag, I knew reality had set back in.
“Ooh, someone’s awake!” my Southern friend said. Her voice sounded as excited as I felt.
“Yes. She’s back with me now.”
“Well do you still need my help?”
At that moment, I wasn’t sure I’d ever needed help. Reassurance maybe, but not help. My victim was watching me with tear-stained eyes and mascara-stained cheeks. Her eyes darted from one place to another, searching for a phone, a weapon, an escape, but they always came back to me. I knew there was going to be a moment when her eyes would lose their fear. A moment when there would be acceptance of death, acceptance that I was the maker she would meet, the reaper of her grim end. That mine would be the last eyes she ever looked into. At that moment, there was always a quiet understanding, just a flicker, but it was always there if I paid attention.
I was going to take extra care of this one.
“No. No, I don’t need any help with this one, thank you,” I said.
“Well, thank you,” she replied. “Is there anything else I can do for you today, hon?”
“No. No, I’m fine now,” I said.
“Well, you have a good day then. If you ever need assistance, feel free to call me.”
“I will,” I said. “Goodbye.”
Then I hung up the phone.

END.

Look for “GIVING UP THE GHOST” by Dan Dillard, June 1st on Amazon!