Worlds Shortest Reviews Episode 2

World’s shortest reviews (with words in them) Episode 2

I hate reviewing things, but always seem to get asked, "What'd ya think of________?" So, once a month or so, I’ll blog it.
Quick reviews of everything I’ve read or watched or listened to since the last time I bothered to record my thoughts. I'll give a couple sentences for each and rate 'em with skulls—cause I like skulls. Then on with my life. Maybe it’ll help get it all out of my system, or maybe it’ll motivate me to get off my rather delicious posterior and create things that others can despise... or possibly love.

I also see that I need to branch out my reading some more. This set of books King, Koontz, and Hill makes me look like a fanboy. But I probably am.

Skull Key:
1 skull    Scrub your brain of this garbage (you won’t see this very often)
2 skulls  Tolerable with maybe one good point, thanks for the effort
3 skulls  Watchable. Many good points, but equal number of issues
4 skulls  Good stuff. Not a classic, but better than the average. Recommended
5 skulls   I’d watch/read/listen to this over and over.
6 skulls   Empire Strikes Back good. Godfather good. Jaws good. Exorcist good. This is a Masterpiece. (You won’t see this very often either)

Since my last review.

MOVIES
Grave Encounters 2
Not quite as good as the first, but still. Great first hour. Decent twist although the acting in this portion grates the nerves. Respectable ending. 3 outta 6 skulls

Hollow
Nicely done film in the Blair Witch style. The legend of a tree where lovers hang themselves becomes the center of attention for a group of lovers and friends who do too many drugs. Mayhem ensues. 3 outta 6 skulls

The Last Circus
Funny, brutal, creepy, sad, sexy, weird, action-packed, and kind of like a comic book. Recommended. Give it a watch. 4 outta 6 skulls.

Antiviral
Amazingly inventive and original and cool... It seems B. Cronenberg is channeling D. Cronenberg. But that's definitely okay. Watch it. 5 outta 6 skulls.

Dredd
Don't pay too much attention to the plot and the way things unfold and you'll have a lot of fun. Some cool stuff going on here.  3 outta 6 skulls.

 All My Friends Are Funeral Singers
Bettis + Weirdness = Goodness. Like watching an odd play. Ghosts and music. A fun departure from the norm. 3 outta 6 skulls.


BOOKS
Heart-Shaped Box Joe Hill
Joe can definitely spin a yarn. This is an excellent idea: Buying a ghost online and getting more than one bargained for. Yum. Still, my opinion is that Mr. Hill goes on a sentence too long here and there and here and over there and there again and then over there... Either way, great little story.
4 outta 6 skulls.

Odd Thomas  Dean Koontz
Don't like Koontz's writing. Just don't. Not that it's bad...it's just not for me. Did this one change my mind? No. Odd is, well, pleasantly odd, but I won't be reading the sequels...However I am interested in the upcoming film. 3 outta 6 skulls.

Gerald’s Game Stephen King
Read it years ago, but wanted an older perspective. A story about the inner struggle of a woman who is trapped in a lakehouse after her pervy husband cuffs her for sex, then has a heart attack and dies. The escape is something to behold, but the things that happen on the side are just weird. Companion work to Delores Claiborne. Not for everyone, but I dug it. 5 outta 6 skulls

Saffron Darron Worrow
Short story about a man with a neighbor who keeps getting him deeper and deeper into trouble. Big trouble. Statutory rape-type trouble. Ending makes all the icky feelings worth it. Good story, Mr. Worrow has skills, but his writing is rough. With practice, I see good things coming. 3 outts 6 skulls.


TELEVISION
Walking Dead Season 3 so far (Episodes 9 through xx)
Andrea is still worthless. A bit of excitement, but the plot choices confuse me at this point. All is leading to what? Great episode with Morgan... but might be the last season I watch. Still Boo.  3 outta 6 skulls

The Following, Season 1 so far (Episodes 5 through xx)
Still good. Still happy. But it is becoming tedious—same plot every show. Bad guy wants his wife back, FBI tries to track him, he tries to track wife, Bacon saves the day. Running out of steam, I fear for second season.  4 outta 6 skulls at this point.

Bates Motel, First Episode
 Forced. All I can say about this episode is that everything seemed forced. The present day setting is unnecessary and adds nothing. I was pleased with Mr. Highmore (as usual). He is quirky and does a nice Norman before. We'll see how the Norman after turns out. Some very brutal stuff in there, but slow it down a bit. Reserving judgment until I've seen more.

That’ll do for now. There will be more. Feel free to disagree, yell, scream, or threaten me below.  If you’d like your stuff reviewed shoot me an email.

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