Sunday, November 6, 2011

Zombies. This is where I piss you off.

I'm going the unpopular route here.
Zombies bore me. Sure there's the occasional gem like Zombieland, or Shaun of the Dead, 28 days later... but so few and far between... A creature without a true mythology. A creature that has no legendary identity, no Count Dracula, no Talbot family, no grand introduction... they just show up one day, crawling from the grave or reanimating the recently deceased. They're creepy because they're not supposed to be there. Jesus may have been the original zombie, but he didn't scare anyone... folks were glad to see him. I think they peaked with Dawn of the Dead. I don't enjoy reading about them, or writing about them... and I'm not sure what to think about the recent craze. There are some talented people wasting good story on zombies. The Walking Dead is an amazing show, but it could have been a war, or a natural disaster as well as zombies. A billion dollar industry by what might be the most contrived and least consistent of all mythos.
And it was made worse by remaking zombie movies. Is it necessary? Like, the story is always the same... technically they're all the same. I guess we could do a different point of view from every person who survives the initial onslaught... Their story until they get eaten. Everyone gets eaten. We can't even control the rhinovirus or the influenza virus
I mean, would you reproduce knowing zombies were out there? Bring a child into the world knowing that being an undead monster was as likely an outcome as heartbreak or acne?
So I guess I'll just eat Cheetos until the apocalypse happens.

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