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Sunday, October 2, 2016

Annual update. Wow.

How long has it been since I've typed anything on this site? Too long. Well, let's run down what's happened.

School. School. School. School and school.

I'm getting my Bachelor's degree in Digital Cinematography

Saturday, June 4, 2016

Ow, my Pancreas...

"Let us all sing the praises of the pancreas." -Heywood Banks
"My pancreas attracts every other pancreas in the universe with a force proportional to the product of their masses and inversely proportional to the distance between them. Woo ooh woo ooh woo ooh woo." -Weird Al
"Ow, my pancreas." -Pauly Shore

At 43 years of age, I found out I had a birth defect.

Friday, March 18, 2016

Down the Psycho Path

My latest book is now available on Kindle as well as Smashwords, Kobo, Barnes and Noble and other e-book webstores. It's another collection of short and flash fiction horror tales about the evil shit people get themselves into. A few of these shorts got a workout here on the blog, but most of them are new.
So if you liked "Demons and Other Inconveniences", "How to Eat a Human Being", "What Tangled Webs", and "Lunacy", grab a copy of this one too. If you haven't read those, maybe you should give them a try. They might grow on an alien fungus that turns your tissues into a necrotic goo and leaves your bones for the authorities to wonder about.

Or something like that. Get it here. Find my other books here. And if you would be so kind, please pass it on to your horror loving friends.

Sunday, December 20, 2015

A Long Time Ago in a Galaxy Far, Far Away...without spoilers.

Episode VII:  The Force Awakens is out. Unless you're hiding in the outer rim, you've probably heard of it. Maybe you're sick of hearing about it. I don't care, hear some more:

Zero spoilers, although I will include images from the trailers.

I was about four and a half when the first Star Wars movie came out (That's A New Hope, Episode 4--just to be clear) and it affected me. I made swoosh noises with the little plastic X-wings and Tie Fighters. I cupped my hands over my mouth so I could breathe like Darth Vader, I had all the toys (wish I'd kept them!)...I can't pick up a dowel rod, baseball bat, roll of rapping paper or even a ball point pen to this day without making lightsaber sounds. When my kids were born, each of them had to hear, "No. I am your fah-ther!" And occasionally, when it's really quiet, I like to make wookiee noises even at forty-three years old. Let's say the film series had an impact.
I haven't read any of the expanded universe and I don't care to. If that's your thing, great, but I am all about the films and that's where I will gladly stay.

Friday, October 30, 2015

Happy Halloween.

Maybe you think you're too grown for Halloween. Fine. More candy for me. But don't you think, just once a year you might act like a kid again?

Saturday, October 17, 2015

Tales of Halloween and Horror in 2015

A Christmas Horror Story, The Visit, Maggie, The Final Girls, We Are Still Here, POD, Deathgasm, Headless, What We Do in the Shadows, Cooties, Attack on Titan, The Last Shift and I still have Crimson Peak, Goosebumps, Krampus and a few others to see before the year is out...One of the best years for horror that I can remember.

Yeah there were a few clunkers like Area 51, Knock Knock and (I'm going to catch flack for this) It Follows (gag). Overall though, more gems than turds and that's awesome.
Today, though, I'd like to talk about Tales of Halloween, available right now On Demand and in a few select theaters (Go get it. Go see it. Right now. This review can wait. Some spoiler will follow.

Wednesday, September 9, 2015

One Vision of Hell

“This will only hurt a lot,” he said. He was sweaty, greasy and covered with blood. He held the knife, a large thing; something like John Rambo might carry into the Vietnamese jungle, up and twisted it in the light. It glimmered along its edge, sharp enough.

The man he spoke to was named Kevin and only a few hours before, Kevin had been an accountant. He was good at his job, he was moving up, his family was secure and happy. Now, Kevin was screaming through a gag. His eyes were wide and he was also sweaty. Not as sweaty as the man with the knife, but stinking nonetheless.

Tuesday, September 1, 2015

REUNION, a review

You probably know Maria Olsen as the casting director from the fabulous Starry Eyes...or maybe as the Fury from Percy Jackson and the Olympians:  The Lightning Thief. If you don't know her, you will because her IMDB page is simply one of the busiest I have seen and her MOnsterWorks66 production company ,who teamed with ACH Reunion for this film, is cranking out product like a wood chipper cranks out blood and bone fragments:  in bulk.
So when she asked if I would review REUNION (lil' ol' me?) of course I was excited.
Thanks Maria for the screener and for the opportunity.

Friday, August 28, 2015

Ghostbusters III: An open letter to Dan Aykroyd, Bill Murray, Ernie Hudson, Ivan Reitman and the late, great Harold Ramis

And Annie Potts, Sigourney Weaver,  Rick Moranis, Peter McNichol.....

I'm a writer, but I don't do fan fiction. At least I haven't since I was about twelve and I wrote a sequel to John Carpenter's Halloween. I   think Halloween 2 and 3 were out by then. It didn't matter, the story was shit and I didn't care. I was just writing.
In contrast, I have long wanted a third Ghostbusters...and even though I'm almost 43 now, I had to write this just for me. So if it sucks, I'll own it.
I'm not going to bemoan the sequel that is in the works. I'm not happy about it, but it isn't for me. That's my problem. It's not for the fans. It's for the money. I hope the new flick rocks and brings in a new generation of fans...but just in case there's a chance, here's what I'm it a first draft...

Logo by Rutherford.

               GHOSTBUSTER III
               The version I want to see.
               Fan Fiction by Dan Dillard


               TITLE: Fourth of July, 2004

               The crowd is thick with interested visitors trying to see the
               entrance to the museum. Barricades and police keep them back.
               A REPORTER stands next to one of many white news vans, ready
               to deliver the story. A CAMERAMAN points his rig at her as a
               cigarette dangles from his mouth.

                         Think you could put that out?

               The cameraman peeks around his viewfinder, hating the woman.


Saturday, June 20, 2015

Jurassic'n me about dinosaurs?

I hate doing film reviews. I find things I like about movies and things I don't like about movies. The takeaway here is this:  making movies is hard. Anyone that pulls off a feature length film gets my respect, even for the worst of films. So this may sound review-ish, but it's more of one dude's opinion and shouldn't affect yours.
That said, a movie like Jurassic World was going to happen. I mean, if the entire crew (and it's a huge crew) had quit, the studios would've found another crew and pressed on. And most times when you toss the GNP of many small countries at a project, the end result will be something. At least it will be a professional looking piece when all is said and done. 
So, I applied some odd thoughts to Jurassic World. I went in thinking, okay, take away the budget. Take away the glam and the sexy outer coating. What's left?

Wednesday, May 13, 2015

'DIG' is here. Get your copy today.

I've written four collections, been included in a load of anthologies, web journals, blogs, horror mags, and now...I've finished my sixth novel. This is the one I'm most proud of. Maybe it's because it's about one of my hometowns. Maybe it's because this one is particularly wicked and has a high body count. Maybe it's because I just like the story.

Whatever it is, 'DIG' is here and what good is that if you aren't reading it? Go get a copy. E-books are available. Paperback coming in the next few weeks.


Cover Art for 'DIG' by Dan Dillard

Wednesday, April 8, 2015

Night-Night, Doc

Twenty-one years ago I had about a thousand dollars to my name and I wanted a motorcycle. How I ended up with a parrot is anybody's guess, but in hindsight it was probably a better idea. I'm clumsy and I don't always think through my decisions. Come to think of it, buying a parrot might not have been a wise choice for a twenty-one year old kid either, but I like animals better than I do people. Still, it's a long term commitment. Any pet is a commitment, but parrots forever. At least that's what I thought.

I worked in a pet store back then. A single guy with no real aspirations except to get my next paycheck so I could make rent, my main job was taking care of marine fish and birds. When the motorcycle deal fell through, I decided I wanted a bird of my own. I already had a cockatiel and we were chums, so what trouble could one more be? Lots as it turned out. The second bird  turned out to be my oldest friend, and the longest relationship I've had in my life outside of immediate family.