Kindle Me Here:

Sunday, December 20, 2015

A Long Time Ago in a Galaxy Far, Far Away...without spoilers.

Episode VII:  The Force Awakens is out. Unless you're hiding in the outer rim, you've probably heard of it. Maybe you're sick of hearing about it. I don't care, hear some more:

Zero spoilers, although I will include images from the trailers.

I was about four and a half when the first Star Wars movie came out (That's A New Hope, Episode 4--just to be clear) and it affected me. I made swoosh noises with the little plastic X-wings and Tie Fighters. I cupped my hands over my mouth so I could breathe like Darth Vader, I had all the toys (wish I'd kept them!)...I can't pick up a dowel rod, baseball bat, roll of rapping paper or even a ball point pen to this day without making lightsaber sounds. When my kids were born, each of them had to hear, "No. I am your fah-ther!" And occasionally, when it's really quiet, I like to make wookiee noises even at forty-three years old. Let's say the film series had an impact.
I haven't read any of the expanded universe and I don't care to. If that's your thing, great, but I am all about the films and that's where I will gladly stay.



Friday, October 30, 2015

Happy Halloween.


Maybe you think you're too grown for Halloween. Fine. More candy for me. But don't you think, just once a year you might act like a kid again?

Saturday, October 17, 2015

Tales of Halloween and Horror in 2015

A Christmas Horror Story, The Visit, Maggie, The Final Girls, We Are Still Here, POD, Deathgasm, Headless, What We Do in the Shadows, Cooties, Attack on Titan, The Last Shift and I still have Crimson Peak, Goosebumps, Krampus and a few others to see before the year is out...One of the best years for horror that I can remember.

Yeah there were a few clunkers like Area 51, Knock Knock and (I'm going to catch flack for this) It Follows (gag). Overall though, more gems than turds and that's awesome.
Today, though, I'd like to talk about Tales of Halloween, available right now On Demand and in a few select theaters (Go get it. Go see it. Right now. This review can wait. Go...rent...buy...theater). Some spoiler will follow.


Wednesday, September 9, 2015

One Vision of Hell

“This will only hurt a lot,” he said. He was sweaty, greasy and covered with blood. He held the knife, a large thing; something like John Rambo might carry into the Vietnamese jungle, up and twisted it in the light. It glimmered along its edge, sharp enough.

The man he spoke to was named Kevin and only a few hours before, Kevin had been an accountant. He was good at his job, he was moving up, his family was secure and happy. Now, Kevin was screaming through a gag. His eyes were wide and he was also sweaty. Not as sweaty as the man with the knife, but stinking nonetheless.


Tuesday, September 1, 2015

REUNION, a review

You probably know Maria Olsen as the casting director from the fabulous Starry Eyes...or maybe as the Fury from Percy Jackson and the Olympians:  The Lightning Thief. If you don't know her, you will because her IMDB page is simply one of the busiest I have seen and her MOnsterWorks66 production company ,who teamed with ACH Reunion for this film, is cranking out product like a wood chipper cranks out blood and bone fragments:  in bulk.
So when she asked if I would review REUNION (lil' ol' me?) of course I was excited.
Thanks Maria for the screener and for the opportunity.


Friday, August 28, 2015

Ghostbusters III: An open letter to Dan Aykroyd, Bill Murray, Ernie Hudson, Ivan Reitman and the late, great Harold Ramis

And Annie Potts, Sigourney Weaver,  Rick Moranis, Peter McNichol.....

I'm a writer, but I don't do fan fiction. At least I haven't since I was about twelve and I wrote a sequel to John Carpenter's Halloween. I   think Halloween 2 and 3 were out by then. It didn't matter, the story was shit and I didn't care. I was just writing.
In contrast, I have long wanted a third Ghostbusters...and even though I'm almost 43 now, I had to write this just for me. So if it sucks, I'll own it.
I'm not going to bemoan the sequel that is in the works. I'm not happy about it, but it isn't for me. That's my problem. It's not for the fans. It's for the money. I hope the new flick rocks and brings in a new generation of fans...but just in case there's a chance, here's what I'm thinking...call it a first draft...

Logo by Rutherford.
   


               GHOSTBUSTER III
               The version I want to see.
               Fan Fiction by Dan Dillard



               EXT. NATIONAL MUSEUM OF NATURAL HISTORY, SMITHSONIAN -
               EVENING

               TITLE: Fourth of July, 2004

               The crowd is thick with interested visitors trying to see the
               entrance to the museum. Barricades and police keep them back.
               A REPORTER stands next to one of many white news vans, ready
               to deliver the story. A CAMERAMAN points his rig at her as a
               cigarette dangles from his mouth.

                                   REPORTER
                         Think you could put that out?

               The cameraman peeks around his viewfinder, hating the woman.

                                   CAMERAMAN
                         Nope.

Saturday, June 20, 2015

Jurassic'n me about dinosaurs?

I hate doing film reviews. I find things I like about movies and things I don't like about movies. The takeaway here is this:  making movies is hard. Anyone that pulls off a feature length film gets my respect, even for the worst of films. So this may sound review-ish, but it's more of one dude's opinion and shouldn't affect yours.
That said, a movie like Jurassic World was going to happen. I mean, if the entire crew (and it's a huge crew) had quit, the studios would've found another crew and pressed on. And most times when you toss the GNP of many small countries at a project, the end result will be something. At least it will be a professional looking piece when all is said and done. 
So, I applied some odd thoughts to Jurassic World. I went in thinking, okay, take away the budget. Take away the glam and the sexy outer coating. What's left?


Wednesday, May 13, 2015

'DIG' is here. Get your copy today.

I've written four collections, been included in a load of anthologies, web journals, blogs, horror mags, and now...I've finished my sixth novel. This is the one I'm most proud of. Maybe it's because it's about one of my hometowns. Maybe it's because this one is particularly wicked and has a high body count. Maybe it's because I just like the story.

Whatever it is, 'DIG' is here and what good is that if you aren't reading it? Go get a copy. E-books are available. Paperback coming in the next few weeks.

AMAZON
SMASHWORDS

Cover Art for 'DIG' by Dan Dillard

Wednesday, April 8, 2015

Night-Night, Doc

Twenty-one years ago I had about a thousand dollars to my name and I wanted a motorcycle. How I ended up with a parrot is anybody's guess, but in hindsight it was probably a better idea. I'm clumsy and I don't always think through my decisions. Come to think of it, buying a parrot might not have been a wise choice for a twenty-one year old kid either, but I like animals better than I do people. Still, it's a long term commitment. Any pet is a commitment, but parrots live...like forever. At least that's what I thought.

I worked in a pet store back then. A single guy with no real aspirations except to get my next paycheck so I could make rent, my main job was taking care of marine fish and birds. When the motorcycle deal fell through, I decided I wanted a bird of my own. I already had a cockatiel and we were chums, so what trouble could one more be? Lots as it turned out. The second bird  turned out to be my oldest friend, and the longest relationship I've had in my life outside of immediate family.

Saturday, February 21, 2015

HEADLESS. A review.



Today, aside from shoveling a foot of snow off the driveway, I was treated to a pre-release screener of the upcoming horror flick, HEADLESS, from Gentleman Monster Productions and Forbidden Films


What’s HEADLESS, you ask? It’s one of those boy-raised-in-a-cage-like-a-dog-and-fed-blood-so-he-grows-up-and-kills-people-and-has-sex-with-their-heads-while-he-fantasizes-about-a-weird-sister-creature-thing stories. Yeah, that old trope. It’s heartwarming really.

Wednesday, January 28, 2015

My Kid Has POTS.

So, my oldest child has POTS. It's not a joke about Colorado, nor is it something from an old Cheech and Chong movie.


NOPE.


Not these either.


I wish it was. It stands for Postural Orthostatic Tachycardia Syndrome, which when you break it down seems simple:

Postural --depending on her posture.
Orthostatic --related to standing upright.
Tachycardia --relative rapid heart action whether physiological (post exercise) or pathological.
Syndrome -- A disease that encompasses a particular group of symptoms.

In other words, when she stands up, her heart rate might increase 40 bpm.


Tuesday, December 30, 2014

Coming Soon!--- DIG, a novel by Dan Dillard

Sometimes, you have to write a book about  your hometown...and in that book you have to destroy everything and let it rebuild itself. It's fun. Here's chapter one. The rest of the book will be along shortly. I have to finish the editing first.
Cover is concept only.

CHAPTER ONE
Loretta Gates

The sun was hot by 9:00 am and there was already a thick, soupy quality to the air. Loretta stretched to ease a hitch in her back. Dark patches of sweat grew in the armpits of her brown, PEACE t-shirt and on the waistband of her gray Capri pants. It had begun to run, dripping into places she didn’t like to mention. A woman who never married, who was never loved by anyone but her father, and who never grew close enough to a friend, lover or otherwise to have such discussions. She didn’t even speak of those things with her own doctor if it could be helped.
Loretta Gates worked for thirty years in a textile mill that sat on the west bank of the Cape Fear River and retired at age fifty-six. She had lived in the same hulking, pine-log house outside of the small port town of Smithville, NC since she was born. Her mother passed when she was still in grade school. Her father when she was thirty-five, back in 1977. Since then, she’d lived alone. She was accustomed to it and she liked it that way.